Not Being Negative Here But Being Excluded Ain’t A Nice Feeling

I’ve never wanted my blog or my social channels to be negative places. I can get negativity most places any day of the week but I don’t want it here. This is my happy place.

But then I thought, c’mon Sharon give yourself a slap, girl. This is supposed to be a snapshot of real life not a sugar coated one. I’m an advocate of keeping it real, after all.

Being-Excluded-Aint-Nice

So I’m going to talk today about being excluded.

It’s not nice. If you’ve ever experienced  being excluded you’ll know it’s not a nice feeling.

Let me set the scene .. I’ve talked before about 50 year olds being misrepresented and I once had a rant here.

Didn’t you just hear me say I am positive? Well, I think I’ve controlled myself quite well for 16 months worth of blog content.

I guess I want to talk about misrepresentation again alongside feeling excluded.

So here it is …. blogging is for anyone. There I’ve said it.

ANYONE

We are all individuals regardless of age, size, colour, gender and each and every one deserves to have a voice.

 

So when I saw recently that there wasn’t anyone over the ripe old age of 47 shortlisted for a blog awards event in its second year I felt very sad. Not for me but on behalf of everyone my age and much older. I’m also saying 47 because I know the age of someone shortlisted and she told me she is 47 but the rest will probably bring the average age to at most 30 years old. I challenged the organisers about it and the reply was the most wishy washy I could’ve ever expected. I’m not going to out them because it’s not necessary to get my point across.

But how can something as big as a blog awards with numerous categories that describes itself as recognising great content creators exclude a whole demographic?

And no next year we don’t want to be wheeled out in a midlife or silver surfer category, thanks. We can slip quite easily into beauty, fashion, lifestyle and all ..we’re not dead yet!

So disappointing when you hoped a new event on the scene would just step out of their own comfort zone.

On the other hand I recently had a  very inclusive and all round wonderful experience when I was invited to speak about my blogging journey on the panel at  ‘Blogging and Influencing 2018’ in Newcastle. A very positive and uplifting event created by the North East’s very own Culture Vulture, Rachel Hortina.

Blogging- Influencing-Newcastle-2018

I am always pretty much the oldest one in the room but as soon as we start talking we all quickly realise we are all the same. In this particular instance we were all females and we all gelled so well. A phrase I like to use is ..

‘Nobody stops loving lippie at 35, nobody’  is something all women can relate to. They see me and I like to think they see themselves in the future still doing anything and everything they love.

That’s positivity right there. To know that something doesn’t stop because of age. Imagine if it did. How sad? I’m here with many others to tell you it doesn’t stop.

I tell my kids I’ll stop when I’m dead which makes them pull a face at me.

Look who else was at this brilliant event …

The fabulous interior obsessive blogger, Lisa Dawson.

Lisa-Dawson-Blogging-Influencing-2018

The mega famous and ultra creative ‘grammer Dominique from All That Is She

All-That-Is- She-Blogging-Influencing-2018

 

Look … we’re all hanging on each others word because we are all interested in what we each have to say.

Being-Excluded-Aint-Nice

These women were totally inspirational to me. I loved hanging out with them. We could’ve nattered all night.

Being-Excluded-Aint-Nice-Blogging-Influencing-2018

Youth has no age’  … said me.

Do you think I’m a whinge for championing midlife or do you think all the ‘now’ 20 something bloggers will thank me for it one day when they are my age and  yikes .. EVEN older?

 

Thankyou to The Culture Vulture and Marion Botella Photography for kindly allowing me to use the photographs.

24 Comments

  1. July 2, 2018 / 11:57 pm

    Sharon
    So true, so true ! I recognise the awards you are talking about and have discussed the same issue about them before with other bloggers .
    I believe their whole magazine etc too is very youth oriented, although they love to shout about diversity ?
    However we really don’t need them we are doing fine on our own .
    You and I were born on the same year and we are both blogging and chatting about it!
    Yes,those youngsters should look to us and realise that we are paving the way for them to still have a job in their 50’s right?
    Ashley
    xxx

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      Author
      July 3, 2018 / 9:38 pm

      Thanks my gal, Ashley. Always appreciate your input. We are doing fine .. you are absolutely right. We’ll fly that flag high!! xx

  2. July 3, 2018 / 7:18 am

    Living in a small country,the Netherlands, makes it even harder to find fashion bloggers over 40 or like me over 50. Let alone that we can have a say in things! So it s good to talk about it! We are a important age!

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      Author
      July 3, 2018 / 9:36 pm

      We are a very important age, Nancy too right. Doing things that our mothers and grandmothers never dreamed were possible!

  3. July 3, 2018 / 8:38 pm

    In my experience of career and lifestyle change at 50+ there are many many women also aged 50+ who all have amazing and inspirational stories. Many of us have businesses that seek to empower women of that ‘certain’ age. You keep waving that ageist card Sharon Sinclair Williams! You’re doing a fab job and don’t need an award to tell you that xx

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      Author
      July 3, 2018 / 9:36 pm

      Thankyou so much for this, Sarah. You are spot on about how we are the generation that is doing everything and anything. You probably know from what you know of me already that I can’t let thinks lie. I’ve always hated unfairness in any form xx

  4. July 3, 2018 / 8:42 pm

    Well said Sharon and it was an absolutely honour sharing the panel with you; you were funny, engaging and insightful and the whole room hung on your every word not just us! Xxx

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      Author
      July 3, 2018 / 9:34 pm

      Awww Helen .. you were the loveliest bunch to share that with .. I loved every minute! xx

  5. July 3, 2018 / 8:44 pm

    I love this post Sharon, there are so many ways that women are excluded in this industry, whether it’s age, race or just mean girl mentality. Bravo for calling it out.

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      Author
      July 3, 2018 / 9:33 pm

      Thankyou Pixie! It’s sad to see and it really bothers me. I had to get it off my chest but didn’t want to sound like a whinge!

  6. July 3, 2018 / 10:54 pm

    Its such a battle isnt it. Im not in to the whole awards thing, (I spent too many years in my day job involved in all that) but I do see exclusion in all areas of blogging. I also hate that the organisers of these “awards” want to make a separate category for anyone over 35. (30 plus awards, 40 plus bloggers etc) It frustrates me. My day job is in the skin care industry, and trust me, it is just as rife in that industry. I think it will change over time, but will we ever be seen as “equal or marketable” as the 20 somethings? It may take a looonngggg time!

  7. July 4, 2018 / 8:05 am

    The Culture Vulture event looks fantastic. I’ll keep an eye out for more…
    I’m not very up on the award scene (although if someone gave me one I’d be thrilled!!) but to me an ‘overs’ category makes me think of ladies who read My Weekly and Family Circle and have nicely permed hair. I don’t feel like you’re being at all negative, just telling it like it is – and that’s why I love your blog.

  8. July 4, 2018 / 9:40 am

    No Sharon you are absolutely spot on to raise this as an issue! It’s not just about the 20 something’s we all have something to share and say – we all deserve a voice!

  9. July 4, 2018 / 11:47 am

    Weeeeellll…I guess we’ve all suffered from some type of ism all of our lives. I sure have resisted being boxed off into any category. Being the youngest child in my family ageism has dogged me throughout my life and it is only recently that I have admitted my actual age, 66. But do I want to be hailed as an Over 60 Style blogger…NO. I’m a blogger and I have style and guess what? I’ve seen it, done it and bought the t-shirt… at least 3 times around! It makes me laugh that young fashionistas are held up as exemplars of style…these girls are pretty, young and slim (usually) which just underscores the same stereotypes as is represented in the general media, and they are too afraid to experiment and to make mistakes in case they lose their followers. Let’s get real here, we oldies have learnt through making every mistake in the book, and some. We older bloggers and stylists are the ones with the knowledge, experience and skills to advise younger people. In what other industry do the young teach the old? It is time to turn this equation on its head!

  10. July 4, 2018 / 9:07 pm

    So many good comments before mine Sharron! I agree with them all. Ashley and I have spoken about entering awards and age segregation is one of the reasons I wouldn’t enter. Plus I would hate the let down!
    Laurie x

  11. July 4, 2018 / 11:42 pm

    Do you know what – I think we have a DUTY to challenge ideas and orthodoxy. I often joke about my mother and aunts in the 1960s and say they HAD to invent valium as that sort of stultifying middle-aged-ness that began in your thirties (if not before) and kept going until late 40s at the latest before “early” old age slid into “middle” and then “old” old age is just the cruelest fate that can befall a woman – just grim, utterly grim. I think from about their mid 30s, my mother and aunts sat on the sidelines – they never got to participate in so many things happening around them – we have to be different, if we don’t be the people we want to be, then what sort of role models are we for the next generation when we told them they could be anything??? Whilst I passionately believe we should be expressing who we are and engaging I also equally passionately believe in living our life on our own terms and maybe that also means creating our own rules of engagement and culture and network of older women – I think most of us have reached that age where we don’t have any desire to compete and this is all about connecting and nurturing and enjoying our differences, I don’t think we need reassurance from others – we have every right to fill and claim our space they way we want. We CAN develop our own community of like minded non agest people and we don’t need permission or approval from others, although I am delighted you were there flying our flag 🙂

  12. July 5, 2018 / 7:10 pm

    Good for you for drawing attention to this issue. It’s been all over traditional media for years so I guess it’s no surprise that blogging is the same. That doesn’t make it right though so well done for fighting it.

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      Author
      July 5, 2018 / 8:40 pm

      Thanks Nyomi .. I’m not ready for the scrap heap yet that’s for sure no matter what the media may like to perpetuate.

      So good to meet you finally last night. Your social media and blog represent you so truthfully .. you were just as I expected xo

  13. July 5, 2018 / 11:44 pm

    I do feel there is discrimination in the blog awards arena. Not only with age but with the subject matter. There are very few fashion blogs I follow because they are either so young or so outlandish no one but a fashionista would wear what they model. I feel like here in the USA it is all about the young fashion bloggers or mommy bloggers.

  14. July 6, 2018 / 11:35 pm

    Here’s to bloggers embracing diversity. I’m sure you have voiced concerns that many of have been thinking!

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      Author
      July 8, 2018 / 11:10 am

      It seems like there is exclusion wherever we turn, Stuart. It’s sad especially when the blogging community is so diverse you would think it is the one area that would celebrate it.

  15. July 10, 2018 / 3:52 pm

    At 61 I hear You! I am probably the oldest beauty blogger out there and have experienced this in some form or another, I don’t know the awards you are talking about as quite honestly I don’t think much of awards overall, but it’s yet another example of our invisibility. X

  16. August 7, 2018 / 5:16 pm

    Sharon hand on heart I’m surprised, not because I don’t believe you but because I’ve never experienced it, I mean what’s not to love about us lot and who better for younger women to learn from than mature women? I mean after all we are seasoned and the elder wisdom years are not the time for us to be fading into the woodwork, on the contrary, these are the years when a woman who has done her healing comes into an authentic sense of self. These are also the years when storytelling circuits’ form and we develop the capacity to create meaning and hand this wisdom on to future generations. Its a no brainer……. isn’t it?

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      Author
      August 12, 2018 / 2:10 pm

      I love your insight, Dee. I can honestly say I’d never experienced it until I came into the blog/media arena but it’s there … alive and kicking!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Never Miss A Post!

Get Bbed Straight To Your Inbox