What It’s Like Being A Woman In Your Fifties

Generally, when people meet me they are surprised I’m in my mid fifties. I’ll be 55 in May. I don’t think it’s because I’m particularly ‘young’ looking although I’m happy with how I look. I think it’s more about my zest for life than anything else. I’ve stepped outside of my comfort zone more since I was 50 than I think at any other period in my life. So, here’s my opportunity to share what I think it’s like being a woman in your fifties.

I remember reading an article where an actress that I adore, Kristen Scott Thomas had said, aged 53 at the time, that she felt invisible around younger actresses.

Quoted she also added in the interview,

“I’m not talking about in a private setting, at a dinner party or anything. But when you’re walking down the street, you get bumped into, people slam doors in your face – they just don’t notice you.”

This was in July 2013 and I had just turned 50. I remember thinking crikey if she is thinking that what hope is there for the rest of us?

kristen-scott-thomasImage Credit: WWD.com

I felt compelled to say to myself ‘well I’m no KST but I’m certainly not going to disappear.’  I’m pleased to report that she didn’t disappear, either. In fact, she has gone on to do just the opposite. In her latest movie, Darkest Hour she plays an amazing supporting role to Gary Oldman’s Winston Churchill. If you haven’t seen it yet .. go see. I am very proud of my country and this made me even more so.

I saw a big change in me once I hit fifty and it wasn’t just the menopause.

Although, that has been the proverbial pain in the ass. I don’t know how I function some days but that’s for another post.

I’d heard the what I thought was the old cliché,

“comfortable in your own skin”

and that is truly what I did … I  became comfortable in mine.

I can honestly say that being a woman in my fifties is like this:

  • I really do care less what people think of me. Not in a negative way. In a way that says this is me, my style, my personality, my beliefs, my passion … take me all or nothing.
  • and … I have learned to seize every opportunity that has come my way. Stepping out of my comfort zone has been one of the most life affirming things I can do. Once over I would’ve thought ‘what if’, ‘can I do it?’Yes, I am still frightened and get sweaty palms.. actually it’s itchy armpits for me! I still have anxiousness and say to myself ‘are you crazy?’ and then I chuckle and think ‘ Go for it, Shazza .. You’re a long time dead!’

So far since I hit my half a century I have:

  • Completed a half Iron Man in California for a Channel 5 tv show.
  • Took a job that meant I had to fly regularly .. ON MY OWN.
  • Still over coming my life long fear of public speaking.
  • Won a social media and digital marketing award.
  • Set up this blog and won a blog award for Best Newcomer Blog 2017
  • Set up a campaign called #ThisNorthernGirlCan in the North East of England where I live to champion gender balance and promote male and female role models.
  • Off the back of that I have become an ambassador for Northern Power Women – a campaign set up by a Northern woman I greatly admire called Simone Roche. She set up NPW in 2015 and it is a collaborative campaign to accelerate  gender diversity across the whole of the North of England. It is now partnered with the Northern Power House.
  • Set up a digital magazine and digital marketing business with my eldest son, Declan.

I actually have some more news of something else that I am embarking on but it’s still under wraps at the moment. All will be revealed soon, I hope.

There you have it. I’m by no means ‘bigging’ myself up here. I’m just trying to say that don’t let your age define you.

I truly believe that if we want it to  midlife can be our age  of empowerment

I also love, love, love fashion and makeup. I also now know what suits me more than ever. Of course, there are parts of me I don’t like. I don’t like how much weight I have gained. Remember up there I talked about my half Iron Man? Yes that’s a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike ride and a 13.1 mile run.

I don’t like my lips .. I wish they were fuller. I’m also not a fan of my teeth or my droopy boobs… BUT ..

I love my eyes and my silver hair and I like my style.

There you have it. I’ve even learned how to love myself.

I don’t do many fashion posts but Saturday night with Mr Bbed and some old friends for dinner gave me a quick opportunity.

Sweater was last season from Next.

best-before-end-date-outfit-post

I love these boots from Next. Purchased because of my love of this shade of blue. I wondered how comfy they would be but they really are. Got comments from people I didn’t even know in the restaurant! Buy here.

next-blue-sock-boots

Love the frills on my Top Shop trousers …  here.

topshop-window-pane-tousers

My Lulu Guinness red lips clutch was a gift from Mr Bbed quite a few years ago and I use it a lot. It’s iconic Lulu so always available.

lulu-guinness-red-lips-clutchI wore the black and silver Art Deco shoulder sweepers below. They were a bargain in the Top Shop sale. This is my little collection of tassels from places like Toppers, Next and H&M. I think any would’ve gone with the outfit don’t you? Glad I settled on the black and silver, though.

best-before-end-date-shoulder-sweeper-earring-collection

I think I’m seeing the best of myself in my fifties. This IS what it’s like being a woman in your fifties. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise if the thought of turning 50 scares the S..T out of you.

 

I’d love to hear other women’s experiences of midlife.

28 Comments

  1. January 30, 2018 / 8:32 am

    Love your style and your sass Sharon!

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      January 30, 2018 / 8:15 pm

      I like that word, Jan .. sass! Not often used over here. Thankyou lovely lady xo

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      January 30, 2018 / 8:14 pm

      Thats such a lovely thing to say, Sam .. thankyou. When I saw your tweet I came over a bit emotional. It’s often very hard to say we are happy and content isn’t it? In case we somehow jinx ourselves! Of course, I get unhappy and still battle with myself but I’m also learning not to be so hard on myself xo

  2. January 30, 2018 / 1:32 pm

    Nothing wrong with bigging yourself up. I feel the same bigging myself up but actually why should we not? As long as you aren’t putting someone else down in the process, its absolutely fine.
    I feel the same now I’ve just entered my 40’s. Well Im 41 to be precise but I feel like me now. At last.

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      January 30, 2018 / 8:12 pm

      And it will get even better, Kelly 🙂

  3. January 30, 2018 / 2:19 pm

    I giggled when I discovered the title of your blog :’) nice one!
    I think it’s funny how the first thing that came to my mind starting reading, is that the 50 “turning point” (which I’m still 22 years away, I’m sort of right in the middle of “life”) is close but also completely different from the one you get as a teenager… New body, new feelings, new needs, you don’t quite get what is going on, the only difference, is when you’re a teen you pay way too much attention to what people are thinking about you, you have no idea who you are and what you want to be, and you spent the 23 years remaining, trying to figure all that out!
    ^_^

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      January 30, 2018 / 8:12 pm

      Glad you like, Marion 🙂 It’s such a strange mix sometimes mid life .. so much to come to terms with but the best is yet to come. I love the comfort I’m finding in finally being me xo

  4. January 30, 2018 / 3:23 pm

    Oh Sharon so much lovely stuff to comment on!! First of all you look SO cool in that outfit – you’re wearing an almost-identical pair of trousers I died over on Nordstrom’s website and thought “oh poo, I wish they were available over here”… but clicking through to yours I’ve found out that Topshop don’t have my size!! =BOOO=

    Secondly – you are an absolute powerhouse, woman!! Your list of achievements is incredible, and proof that you don’t have to watch the world go by just because you’ve reached 30, or 40, or 50 or whatever. We can do whatever we set our minds on, and you’re inspirational proof of that. I have so many ideas about what I still want to do with my life and what I want to achieve that I’m quite overwhelmed sometimes, but it means that I’ll never stop dreaming.

    And that makes life all the more enjoyable, doesn’t it…?!!

    Great post my lovely 😀

    C x

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      January 30, 2018 / 8:09 pm

      Made my day seeing lovely you here, Catherine. You are an inspiration to me and I’ve seen how you have that effect on so many women of all ages since I found you. I wish I could do fashion posts like you. You know how far I’ve come with that. This year with my confidence putting myself out there on here and instagram has been the icing on the cake. Some of that is down to you lovely lady. Keep doing you!!

      My eldest boy sometimes says ‘ Slow down a bit, mum’ and I’m like noooo wayyyy!! xoxo

  5. January 30, 2018 / 5:19 pm

    Hi Sharon. Love this piece! I turned 50 in august and was so happy with the celebrations and vow renewal and really felt that this is going to be the best decade ever! And most days I’m feeling that – strong, positive and happy. BUT I’ve definitely got the Big M creeping up which is affecting me more than I thought it would…weird anxiety and fluffy brain are just a couple of my annoying symptoms. I’m sure I’ll get a handle on it anda researching now. But like you, I don’t think is 50 year olds and beyond are invisible, I think we can actually do anything. And I’m going to take a leaf out of your book and try some fear facing this year! Lovely post ☺️❤️Lisa xx

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      January 30, 2018 / 8:04 pm

      Love that you are feeling it, Lisa .. we are pretty fearless if we allow ourselves to be in our fifties. The pesky menopause gets in the way but I am managing it with HRT. I’ve been going through it about 10 years … eek… think it deserves its own blog post but I try not to give it too much head space. xo

  6. Claire Gregory
    January 30, 2018 / 5:50 pm

    I think this is great – age is definitely just a number!

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      January 30, 2018 / 8:01 pm

      Absolutely Claire. I just wish I’d had more of what I have now when I was in my 30’s and 40’s .. it’s brill! xo

  7. January 30, 2018 / 6:13 pm

    You have so much to be thankful for and YOU look Fantastic. Keep em coming. . . and Big_Ups!!

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      January 30, 2018 / 8:00 pm

      Too true, Neti .. thankyou xo

  8. January 31, 2018 / 11:34 am

    Love this post and absolutely adore your style – you look amazing. I have decided that hitting the 50s and menopause (it has its moments but then pre menopause was not exactly the dream ticket) are my reward for getting this far. I could sit and whinge and gripe and complain about so many things – if I care to focus on them, but quite frankly I’ll concentrate on the many positives. Of of the many GOOD things I personally feel invisibility is great, one of the best – it was always my chosen superpower if they were handing any out (heck I even trained as a librarian – we are meant to be invisible), I like being able to potter along unnoticed and observing and quietly getting where I want to be… until I decide to be noticed of course. I am 5ft2 – 5ft3ish depending on how I feel about height, therefore ignore me when I want attention and you’ll find I am a trip hazard, well, next time notice me :). I also find I am MORE noticed with my white hair than I ever was and also more comfortable with this – with my dyed mouseybrown locks I would have scuttled from attention, now I just give a bigsmile and carry onwards – I am not so bothered by others opinions, I certainly don’t hold them as gospel and stew over what people think now. I love being this old – women at this age are more interesting and less approval seeking and even the blogs – it is more like a “salon” in the pre french revolution type ideal I think – we come together and discuss things and explore issues on all levels, truly, the positives outweigh the negatives.

    Oh an we can really rock a nice bright lippy

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      February 5, 2018 / 10:57 pm

      Love your sense of humour, Juliet! You really made Me LOL!!! I like the idea of super power!! xo

  9. January 31, 2018 / 1:10 pm

    I attended the ellefluence event on Monday where your son spoke about social media strategies and it was awesome to find out more about the northern niche and your blog from him! I’m so glad I found it- it’s so nice to find a blog that’s different and refreshing!

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      February 5, 2018 / 10:47 pm

      Oh that’s so lovely of you Shay .. thankyou. Seems he enjoyed himself!! xo

  10. February 1, 2018 / 10:54 am

    I read a lot that women over 50 care less what other people think. I have the same, it’s liberating! You have achieved a lot since you turned 50! Wow! Good on you and you look wonderful. Love your boots!

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      February 5, 2018 / 10:45 pm

      Thankyou Nancy. It’s very liberating .. caring less!!! 😉 xo

  11. February 1, 2018 / 7:17 pm

    Hello Sharon, I love that you’re blazing your own trail in the fifties fashion and lifestyle space. Loving the blue boots, you go girl! In my 50th year I changed careers, gained a Masters, became a Grandma and lost my mother.

    Moving forward, all of that and more ( oh there’s always more) has given me a new “super power” and I have since become a “diamond miner” hence my new book (coming soon ) “Polish The Diamond In Your Heart” – how to reveal your unique fire and brilliance and turn it into business in mid-life and beyond. Why? Because every women I meet has a story to tell and somewhere in that story the seeds of her new business have already been sown.

    I love how “super talented” midlife women are and my passion in life is to make sure those who have gifts they want to share with the world, get to polish their own diamond. I’m glad I found your blog Sharon and look forward to reading more…..

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      February 5, 2018 / 10:40 pm

      Love that you are writing a book, Dee! You have done such a lot, too .. go you! It’s also a time of life when so many things happen to us .. like you losing your mum. I’m lucky enough to still have my mum. The upside is that you have grandchildren. How fabulous. I don’t yet. Thanks for stopping by. Great to have you as a connection on LinkedIn xo

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      February 5, 2018 / 10:40 pm

      Oh I did thanks, Jacqui! xo

  12. February 10, 2018 / 12:21 pm

    Oh my, you are such an inspiration to all of us who have hit the fabulous fifties! I so need to take a leaf out of your book. I’m 58 and although happy am feeling stuck in a rut and in need of adventures. The trouble is that I just lack confidence and stupidly feel that I’ve missed the boat and am now too old. Which of course is just not true. We are never too old for an adventure! So what have I achieved in my 50’s? Well, I got remarried and was briefly president of my WI. I can now sort of achieve a Downward Dog pose at yoga and I got to round two in the application process for Bake Off. I’ve found fabulous new friends through Instagram and survived a serious case of pneumonia that made me realise that life is too precious to let drift by and that if you want to do something, do it. Trouble is saying it and actually doing it is a whole different matter! xx

    • Sharon Sinclair.Williams
      February 10, 2018 / 2:23 pm

      Well I think you are bloody amazing, too Brigitte! I can’t bake and I certainly can’t do a ‘Downward Dog’ .. go you girl!! I was in my local WI too for a period about 6 years ago and loved it but I took a job that meant lots of travel so had to give it up. When I went back briefly it didn’t feel the same but I made some lovely friends because of WI. I think acceptance plays a big part as we get older. I know people who ‘know’ me IRL look at my blog and my instastories and think who does she think she is but I really, really don’t care. Do what ever you want lovely, Bree .. I’ll support you 🙂 xo

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